So much of modern culture brings us into the outside life… and very little of it brings us into our inner life. Yet, we have an obligation to grow our inner life as Human Beings. It leaves us in a strange dichotomy. When our spaces in time and activity are not filled… we begin to feel bored… and that can lead us to feel lonely,… and then we are … dissatisfied! Dissatisfaction in children breeds dependence on devises, poor learning and anti-social behavior in the home and away. Dissatisfaction in youth breeds dependence on a virtual existence or overly social insistence that distracts the youth from the primary concern of learning and choosing who he/she will Be. Dissatisfaction in the adult causes disruption of healthy habits and attitudes and eventual breakdown of all relationships.
Firstly… we are not alone in this life. We have our Self. (Note the Capital S.) We have not been taught to build a strong sense of Self. Possibly, that is because considering Self is mistaken for self-centeredness or even selfishness.
The best thing we can do to reorient our life from frustrating, boring and lonely, is to build… our “Culture’ of Being” so that the priorities of our true Self begin to fill the gaps in time and activity, that appear to be vacant. It may be a new concept to many that, we are responsible for our time and activity. What we choose to do with our time, with whom we choose to spend our life spaces, and for which reasons we cultivate our activities…. Not only speaks to… whom we are allowing our Self to Be… but also, to whom we will become as the present becomes our future.
We all think that there is time… time enough to “Become”… time enough to eventually accomplish… time to cultivate our life. However… we also hold a belief that our truest and best version of life will just magically happen… sometime in the future. We have not been taught to think past the basics of education and work life in order to gain a sense of building our “Culture of Being”.
We are responsible for building a culture of living, a culture in our home, as well as a culture…. within our heads! Our very human need to develop our perspective, fill our time and cultivate our capacities is like growing a plant or nurturing a child.
Think of culturing in a petri dish. We take a medium (our mind, our activities, our home, our circle of friends, family and activity) and we add something (our choices, our interests, our innate and developed skills, our climate of emotion, mental aptitude and inward and outward participation in life) and then we hope something will grow. The majority of people just continue to hope, perhaps thinking that these things simply come into being. However, if we are deliberate in our quest to create a “Culture of Being”, we can manifest a plan and a program to do just that.
Begin by thinking through the day and the week. When you get up, what you do before leaving the house, the way most days fall into place, the weekend and what needs to get done. When you write those things down in a column, you may feel that most of the things on the list are unchangeable and inevitable.
Next consider time frames. Make a column for changes to timing. For instance, if you regularly roll out of bed in just enough time to shower, dress and run out the door… consider reconfiguring that time frame by a half hour so that there is time for a breath of fresh air on the porch with a cup of tea or coffee in hand and a meditative few moments. Time for a healthy breakfast and certainly time to connect with your personhood and that of any other persons in your home life. Think how that might make you feel more connected to your true Self, to feel stronger, and to realize that you matter. You are not just a cog in someone’s wheel. You are a Human Being… taking time to feel that way and honor a space in time to recall it.
It’s true that there is work calling and certain jobs that must be accomplished for hearth and home. However, changing perspective and turning those chores into intimate moments makes them meaningful. If shopping needs to happen, instead of huffing about the inconvenience, decide to shop in a store that you feel inspired by, to make a list that will make your meals healthy and complete and to make it an excursion for yourself and other family members. Then, turn on music, make specialty kid and adult drinks, and have a gathering of conversation and learning while the meal and next day’s lunches come together. In other words… make it fun! It needs to get done… but it can be fun.
Finding arts, crafts, puzzles, books, drawing, music, sports… that bring satisfaction to your day is another way to share time with yourself or with others and make a place for your true Self to shine. Scour your abode and clear the things that no longer contribute to your new mindset. Clear the pathway for new and better uses of time, energy and efforts.
Nothing is more boring than being boring. Hanging our hopes on outside activities usually means waiting for others, going to places that may not be very uplifting and feeling flat when there is no outside stimulation. But creating interests breeds activity that is vital and meaningful to the individual and can also promote similar activity for everyone in the home. Find the spaces in your day… and even make more of them. Then fill them with fun, healthful and connecting activity that takes you toward your daydream goals in life!
Turning off the devises and screens also brings new perspective to life. Dependence on a virtual life is ‘dependence’.… not freedom or relaxation or independence. It is not natural to our physicality nor is it particularly healthy for our brain and nervous system and tends to enervate the system. This makes people tense and anxious. Learning to be less dependent and use these options as the tools and occasional entertainment that they are meant to be, relieves us of replacing real life with virtual life.
As you reconfigure your hours, days and weeks to take the time for your Self and you true desire to learn, grow and Be more… you will wake up one day and realize that you are never bored, or lonely or frustrated or disappointed in life. You are full to the brim with the sweet life that you have created!