Our mind is a wonderful thing. BUT….. sometimes we get caught up in thoughts and feelings that make us wish we didn’t have one. Of course, when we are in such a mood we do not stop and imagine, what we would have of life, if we “lost our mind”! Naturally, if we really did lose our mind, so to speak, it would be a sad loss and render us incapable of functioning.
When we think we are about to “lose our mind”, it is usually precipitated by some experience that shakes our world and makes us uncomfortable and truly feel lost. We imagine that we cannot cope …. and then we imagine that we do not even want to cope. It’s all too much to bear! (Back of hand to forehead and slight faint!) Somewhere in the midst of our fears of the past and fears for the future, we wish our mind to be lost — so we won’t have to contemplate our plight – right now!
Sound like a “pity party”? Yes, actually it is. And guess what…. we all have them from time to time. We get scared that we cannot accomplish something. It may be as mundane but necessary as paying the bills or as difficult as finding and becoming successful at our talents. We may experience rejection and even more often, we reject our self as unworthy and unlovable. We, as human beings are super duper good at the pity party stuff! Really! — I am (when I chose to be) and you are and your neighbor is and your grandmother can be too.
A piece of the “human condition” is; to often get focused on the parts that don’t seem to be working — and we get so good at it that, we entirely block out all the things that are great, wonderful, inspiring and generally alright. While we are busy having a pity party and losing our mind –
we are not seeking or finding solutions to our dilemma.
If we could just be rational, instead of emotional, while we are falling apart, we would immediately realize how much time we are wasting on the “party that is not” and we would recover our wits much faster – realizing that we are the only one who can save our self. Well – we can and we must learn to stretch our mind, instead of losing it!
Here is the really strange part of all this — we don’t like to change how we are feeling! Even though we are unhappy and frightened and out of our mind with worry and dread — we will resist anyone or anything that tries to stop our train wreck! Do we like it? Probably not. But we do, somewhere in our heart, know that we are out of control and we instantly tend toward finding excuses for our mindset. We resist change and solving our problems because we want others to give us attention, sooth our feelings, overlook our stupidity, and possibly commiserate so much, that they attempt to take our responsibility and fix our problem for us! Whew! Really? We think/feel all that — instead of just taking a deep breath and fixing our stuff?
Pretty much! In our little heart is — the woe be gone child, who is helpless and afraid and needs a kind parent’s consolation and help. So in our little mind, we start thinking that we cannot do what is needed and… that’s what we act out. Now, really there is no shame in admitting that we are frail and sometimes think we are all alone and need a helping and comforting hand. How we get that is another thing all together!
Ultimately, no one can solve our problems for us. The problems we encounter are there so that we can solve them, learn from them and have the opportunity to grow. I know, I know — I just heard you yawn! Easily said — not so easily done; so… do we have to talk about it? Well, once again… yes!
Let’s just take a moment and…. stretch our mind. Take a deep breath and forget about the problem.
WHAT! You can’t? It is so overwhelming and important and impossible and aggravating and … yes…important! So it’s front and center! How can I suggest forgetting about it? ——-
There actually is a good reason. In order to solve the problem, it cannot be allowed to become so overwhelming that you cannot see the whole of it and it rules your every thought and emotion.
If the problem is all you see –
there is no room on your mental horizon, for the solution!
Now… once again…. deep breath and forget about it. Oh surprise! Nothing there?… good. Now, allow some other thoughts.
Name one thing in your life you are really, really grateful for.
(yuck!-last thing on my mind!)
Find one thing you are learning, from being in the current situation.
(that I hate it?)
Assume that the sky has never fallen yet — so it won’t this time either.
(yeah – right!)
Take a reprieve from all the worry and stress thoughts and ALLOW your mind to drift. (as in comatose?)
Decide that the best possible solution will occur to you soon
(that’s relative – it may be in a few days’ time)
Put the problem from your thoughts for as long as it takes for the “light bulb” effect to happen.
Ah ! – there it is. The reason you felt so burned up emotionally and then – a better than average idea to resolve it.
Remember how crazy you felt and how hopeless, angering and shocking the problem felt?
And now — it doesn’t. Even better, you feel good about you — because you have understood and resolved your feelings and you have dealt with the issue at hand.
What you did was hold your own hand, comfort your self and were kind enough to stop the emotional storm.
Solutions are easy -
once we understand why the problem affects us so completely and we allow quiet – for the resolution to come through.